Takmer dospelé poviedky od Zuzany Štelbaskej

Napísal Milan Buno, literárny publicista 04. marec 2018

Zuzana Štelbaská stále pracuje ako televízna dramaturgička, má veľké skúsenosti z médií, no čoraz viac sa prejavuje aj ako autorka knižiek pre deti a mladých. A darí sa jej. Ako tvrdí, príbeh, ktorý sa jej zrodí v hlave sa musí v nej aj udržať, postavy ju musia opantať. 

. „Každým príbehom žijem dlho pred tým, než sa dostane na papier,“ tvrdí Zuzka.
Výborne to potvrdzujú aj nové Takmer dospelé poviedky, ktoré pekne ilustrovala Ivana Šáteková.

Láska a zamilovanosť by mali byť romantické, ale v skutočnosti ich otrieskali o steny a chodníky.
Hrdinovia tesne pred dospelosťou zažívajú svoje trápne, tragikomické a mysteriózne zážitky prvých vzťahov, pozorovaní dvoma pouličnými mačkami. Naivná mačka Ginevra a cynický kocúr Lancelot rozprávajú príbehy Maríny Ohromnej a ďalších drzo, bez obalu a nedávajú si servítky pred ústa. Aký experiment s láskou čaká na teba?

Ako prezrádza Zuzana Štelbaská, nemá rada prílišné romanticko-nostalgické spomínanie, aké to bolo, keď sme my boli mladí. Aj súčasní tínedžeri prechádzajú všetkým možným. Len inak. Je jedno, či prvý bozk zažijú pod panelákom na prakeri, alebo pri obchodnom centre. „V tom momente aj tak pre vás neexistuje celý svet, ale len tá jedna chvíľa, jeden človek, jeden moment. To si jednoducho zapamätáte,“ dodáva autorka novinky Takmer dospelé poviedky.

Zuzana Štelbaská je autorkou kníh pre deti a mládež. Od pätnástich rokov pôsobí v médiách, vytvorila stovky magazínov, získala niekoľko novinárskych cien. Okrem mnohých stála za detskými a tínedžerskými programami ako Fidlibum, Fidlibumove rozprávky, Si v obraze? No problem, The New Teenage Europe… Dnes pôsobí ako šéfdramatugička magazínu Reflex v TV Markíza.

Prečítajte si úryvok z novinky Takmer dospelé poviedky:

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Ráno čakala netrpezlivá Ginevra pri Maríninom balkóne. Marína rozospato odhrnula záclonu a Ginevra okamžite začala nakúkať do izby. Nikoho okrem Maríny v nej nevidela.
„Tak asi predsa len prišla včera sama domov,“ zamraučala.
„Nemrauči. Musíš počkať na Lancelota,“ povedala cez okno Marína mačke a zase nechala záclonu padnúť dolu. Ginevra stratila výhľad aj záujem. Lancelot nepríde skôr ako o hodinu. Rozhodla sa teda ísť pozrieť do vedľajšieho bytu, v ktorom bývala rodina s dvoma deťmi.
Preskočila z Maríninho balkóna na jedľu, vydriapala sa na pevný konár a cupkala až na jeho samý kraj. Ihličie ju bezpečne doviedlo na parapet okna detskej izby Šimona a Vandy Lopčíkovcov.
Šimon Lopčík práve vstával. Sedel na posteli a šúchal si oboma rukami líca. Mal päť rokov a chystal sa do škôlky. Ginevra ho nemala rada. Strašil ju. Dupal na ňu a rehotal sa, keď od neho splašene bežala preč.
Zato jeho sestra bola omnoho zaujímavejšia. Šestnásťročná Vanda Lopčíková chodila prvý rok na poštové učilište. Nie že by chcela byť poštárkou, ale vedela, čím nechcela byť – pekárkou ako jej mama, šoférom ako jej otec. Iná vhodná škola pre ňu v okolí nebola, tak chodila tam.
Nemala ešte ani riadne rozlepené oči, keď sa natiahla po mobile na nočnom stolíku. Nechcela kontrolovať čas. Po odblokovaní sa jej okamžite otvoril Facebook. Nikdy ho nezatvárala. Iba v akútnych prípadoch, keď potrebovala volať mame, či má kúpiť chlieb alebo rožky. Hoci bola jej mama pekárka, poslúchala rady svojho obľúbeného ženského časopisu, kde sa jasne písalo, že práca sa nemá nosiť domov!
Vanda Lopčíková bola od Facebooku chorobne závislá. Nedokázala žiť s vedomím, že nevie, čo sa na Facebooku deje. Nedokázala žiť s tým, že by jej niečo v tomto paralelnom živote uniklo. Nie že by sa v jej skutočnom živote nič nedialo, ale nedialo sa nič také, čo by Vandu akokoľvek zaujímalo. Bola posledná z triedy, kto od rodičov dostal smartfón, a keď prišla na strednú, bolo jej hneď jasné, ako veľmi sa toto omeškanie podpíše na jej šťastí. Všetci riešili svoj život na Facebooku. Všetkým časové osi prekypovali aktivitou. Všetci niečo zdieľali.
šetci všetko lajkovali. A po lajknutí všetkých správnych vecí ich potom všetci riešili v triede. Vanda pochopila, že o tomto je život. Pochopila, že aby aj ona mohla byť šťastná a začať plnohodnotne žiť, lajkov musí rozdať oveľa viac, než doteraz stíhala. Preto svoj telefón za žiadnych okolností nepúšťala z ruky. Vanda Lopčíková však nemohla tušiť, že ešte v ten deň ju telefónu zbavia tajomné pokrivené čiary pochádzajúce od jej spolužiaka. Nemala odkiaľ vedieť, že úzkosť, ktorú v toto nervózne ráno prežívala pri pohľade na svoju časovú os, už čoskoro vymení za lúštenie nezmyselných čiernych čiar, ktoré ju možno dokonca urobia... šťastnou.
Prv než sa to všetko stalo, siahla Vanda po mobile, otvorila Facebook a pozerala sa na svoju časovú os. Jasne si pamätala, že posledný včerajší príspevok (skontrolovaný o 01.48) bol zo stránky Obleč sa! Ukazoval, ako sa majú ženy na druhý deň obliecť a kde si to kúpia. Teraz jej tam svietil odkaz dvojhviezdičkového penziónu Víťaz z Dobšinej, ktorý ponúkal víkendovú zľavu. Rolovala nižšie. Levy zo stránky Animal Friends. Mačky zo stránky Ľúbime mačky. Psy zo stránky Ľúbime psy. Kôň zo stránky Ľúbime kone, bože, to tí ľudia v noci nespia, ale ľúbia kone – mačky – psy?! A potom odkaz zo stránky Obleč sa!
Klikla na ikonku Priatelia. Dala refresh. Žiadna nová žiadosť. Potom refresh ešte raz. Pre istotu. Nič. Pozrela sa na počet svojich priateľov. 30. Už týždeň rovnako trápnych 30. Všetko jej spolužiaci, pár kamošiek z bloku a teta.
Na jej časovej osi sa toho dialo žalostne málo. To nikto nič nerobí? Nezdieľa? Nerieši?
Dala refresh. Na časovej osi sa jej objavila pozvánka na stránku Black Cat Café. Kaviareň bola v meste, o ktorom si Vanda ani nebola celkom istá, kde je. Like.
Objavila sa jej pozvánka na stránku Filmový festival European Films in the East. Like.
Objavila sa jej pozvánka na stránku Seniori. Like.
Objavila sa jej pozvánka na stránku Teenage fun. Like.
Objavila sa jej pozvánka na stránku Hemoroidy. Like.
Objavila sa mama.
„Vanda, poď už. O desať minút odchádzame.“
Nahrbená Vanda neodtŕhala oči od telefónu. Po pamäti vošla do kúpeľne.
National Geografic. Like. Voľnou rukou si umyla zuby. Pľuvla trochu pasty na displej. Utrela ho do gatiek.
Megadeath. Like.
Kikuška Zlatuliq Nováková poslala fotku seba, ako stojí pred zrkadlom v kúpeľni len v tieločku. Neučesané vlasy jej zakrývali prsia. Like.
Vanda sa na seba do zrkadla nikdy nepozerala. Načo aj. Svoj špicatý nos nenávidela. Voľnou rukou si ho trikrát silnejšie pohladila. Aby tú špicatosť trochu obrúsila. Zatiaľ to nepomohlo.
Kikuška Zlatuliq Nováková na fotke označila svojho frajera Mima Mimoňuška. Vandu striaslo. Zmenila názor a dala Unlike. Ale zase, keď sa chcela s Kikuškou Zlatuliq Novákovou kamarátiť...
Like.
Ale čo. Veď Kikuška už má frajera.
Unlike.
Vanda si voľnou rukou opláchla oči. Frkla trochu vody na displej. Utrela ho do gatiek.
Objavil sa sponzorovaný link na Inštitút sociálnej práce. Like.
Vrátila sa späť k fotke. Bol na nej jeden Like. Od Vandinej naj spolužiačky Dominiqy Šišiny Kráľovej. Vanda stisla pery a dala Like.
„Vanda! Odchádzame!“
Vanda prepchala telefón cez úzky rukáv na roláku. Jednou rukou si natiahla rifle, ktoré chcela dať už včera mame do prania, lebo boli od omáčky (ktorá jej na ne kvicla na obede, keď sa jej na časovej osi objavila pozvánka na stránku Vtip na každý deň a dala jej Like). Schmatla tašku so včerajšími učebnicami.
V aute prebehla časovú os. Pribudol komentár od Mima Mimoňuška pod fotkou Kikušky Zlatuliq Novákovej: „:-*“
Dominiqa Šišina Kráľová dala komentáru Like.
Vandu išlo roztrhnúť od jedu! Dominiqa Šišina Kráľová Kikuške Zlatuliq Novákovej všetko lajkovala. Ale žeby dala aspoň jeden Like aj Vande, to nie! Nelajkla jej ani fotku s jej tetou, šéfredaktorkou mestských novín. Vanda klikla na jej profil. Lucia Zinková. 657 priateľov. 657! O 13 viac ako pred týždňom! 13!!! Rolovala po jej časovej osi. Fotka z recepcie hotela Triple Bed. Like. Pozvánka na tlačovku ku koncertu Lucie Bílej. Like. Linky na články. Like. Like. Like. Odkazy od kamošov. To preskočila. Lucia Zinková sa práve spriatelila s Petrou Polnišovou. Vande skoro oči vypadli! Like.
„Vanda, si hluchá? Vystúp!“
Pred školou hlúčik poďobaných štvrtákov fajčil lacné cigy. Vanda prebehla okolo. Jednou rukou sa prezula. Na časovej osi sa objavila fotka z ich triedy. Bola na nej Dominiqa Šišina Kráľová v objatí s Kikuškou Zlatuliq Novákovou. Like.
Počkať!
Komentár fotky bol: „:-*“.
UNLIKE! Kravy!
So sklonenou hlavou a mobilom v ruke kráčala do triedy. Bola si istá, že tam bude nuda. Včera sa na časovej osi nedialo nič, len kone – mačky – psy. Určite nebude o čom. Určite sa nebude nikto s nikým baviť. Veď nebude o čom. Určite.
Tak určiteeeeeeee. Like.
Vanda Lopčíková sedela v predposlednej lavici. Všetci jej spolužiaci boli napchatí pri katedre a riešili včerajší Facebook. Rehooot! Ohováračky. Muzika. Video. Bulvárky. Showky. A toto ste videli? A hento ste počuli? Počkaj, toto ti pošlem! Tamtú haluz musíš vidieť!
Do Vandy vošla zlosť.
Zazvonilo.
Na prvej hodine nejaký učiteľ niečo hovoril.
Vanda zúrivo rolovala časovú os. Kde to všetko bolo?? Kam sa stratili všetky haluze, super veci a rehoty z jej časovej osi??? O čom to všetci točili???
Vandin ukazovák švihal po displeji. Ako atlét vo vrcholnej forme chcel dohnať Vandiných spolužiakov, ktorí tam kdesi spolu žili. Bez nej! Zatiaľ.
Vanda si dala telefón ešte bližšie k hlave a hľadala. Hľadala svoj budúci život ako o život. 

25 komentárov

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    On a personal stage, I’ve been dedicating myself to the world of
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    each competed and coached on the highest stage. While the longest occasions in Strongman are only seconds, it is essential to prepare the cardio system.
    The cardio system helps to recover between events and between coaching
    sessions. Beginners may benefit from more frequency in some main actions to get them down. Beginners
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    Besides the key Strongman events, there are additional accent movements
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    In this article, we’ll break down every thing you should know concerning the low bar squat—what it's,
    how to do it properly, and the benefits it presents.
    We’ll additionally talk about the muscle tissue labored and
    explore some variations. The hip joint is a ball-and-socket joint that moves in all three anatomical planes and
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    Having versatile ankles helps lifters squat with extra management and stability.
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    The safety bar squat is a bar that has handles connected to
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    Lifters with shoulder mobility issues using traditional squats will find the safety bar squat extra comfortable
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    Then squeeze your shoulder-blades to help the bar together with
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    If you choose to squat in a low bar place, you need
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    This type makes use of a extra upright place, and in consequence creates larger vary of motion at
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    While at first look this squat form seems to be the best to understand, it’s nonetheless
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    You will love the Critically Sturdy Advanced Program if you’ve completed the first
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    Do not do this because it causes a lack of rigidity and control
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    Dumbbell Squats are higher than doing nothing.

    Between all the lifters, people with a tall physique have struggled the most.
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    The low bar place usually calls for greater core stabilization because of the ahead lean. As
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    work synergistically to take care of posture throughout the squat.
    Understanding the assorted muscle teams involved makes it evident how complete the excessive bar squat could be.

    He's the proprietor of Kingwood Power and Conditioning and the net Baker Barbell Membership, the place he's helped thousands of lifters like myself prepare to get stronger by training smarter.
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    Excessive bar squats additionally involve important activation of the glutes, but to a different degree when in comparison with the low bar squat.


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    For males aged 18-34, 86% performed 25.2 as Rx’d compared to 90% on 25.1.
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    While Lujan cautions against over-training, he suggests doing extra
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    However in case your goal is to carry out on a area of play, make the hack squat a very low-priority
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    If considered one of these joints feels off, it could possibly simply
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    In this part, we break down the best practices of performing these workout routines safely and effectively.

    It can result in overconfidence and put an extreme quantity of compression on the again, decrease leg joints,
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    Conversely, should you're enhancing athletic performance or dealing with lower again issues,
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    You can adjust what leg muscle tissue you primarily goal by moving
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    The fixed path of the machine helps you squat with constant
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    The hack squat is possibly more quad-focused, but all in all, both the hack squat and the V-squat engage comparable muscles, just with a slightly different
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    The V squat is a variation of the hack squat, usually performed on the identical machine (though it can be accomplished with free weights, too) as an various
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    In The End, both workout routines have their place in any well-rounded health regimen, and the solely option is dependent upon your distinctive wants.
    The posterior chain is the group of muscle tissue behind
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    There are different squat variations generally
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    The decrease again muscles and belly muscles will be actively working whereas doing hack squats to maintain the physique stable.

    Though it’s a nice way to work your quads to the restrict, there’s no exterior scenario the place you’d
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    Evaluating a belt squat to a barbell squat helps one respect the completely different benefits of each.
    Barbell squats, considered the gold commonplace for developing leg and core power, have interaction multiple muscle teams and contribute to the development of functional power.

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