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On-line zoznámenie a jeho úskalia

Napísal femme 22. január 2018

Podľa súčasných štatistík sa dnes mladšia generácia najčastejšie zoznamuje cez internetovú zoznamku. Výnimku však netvorí ani staršia generácia. Zo začiatku ide o nezáväznú a anonymnú komunikáciu, ktorá býva od skutočnej mnohokrát odlišná. 

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On-line zoznamovanie už predbehlo skôr zaužívaný zvyk nadväzovania známosti v škole, cez kamarátov a priateľov či v práci. Nový spôsob prináša so sebou výhody ale aj nevýhody. Pri on-line hľadaní partnera sa môžu virtuálne informácie na hony vzďaľovať od reality. Podobne ako pri reálnom stretnutí a „oťukávaní“, si obidve pohlavia niektoré skutočnosti prispôsobujú a prikrašľujú. U žien je počiatočné virtuálne zoznamovanie jednoduchšie, lebo si ľahšie uberú roky a muži, poväčšine klamú o výške platu. Toto „neosobné“ zoznamovanie prináša so sebou aj ľahkomyseľnosť, kedy jeden z dvojice netuší, či druhá strana rovnako nenadväzuje kontakt s ďalšími zoznamovania chtivými osobami. Okrem iného aj z tohto dôvodu sa prvé, prípadne druhé stretnutie veľakrát odďaľuje. Existujú už určité vzorce chovania na on-line zoznamkách, ktoré dostali aj pomenovania v angličtine, skúsme si priblížiť niektoré z nich.

1. Breadcrumbing - ak  vaša internetová komunikácia s adeptom na vzťah nie je  krátkodobá,  ale stále sa vyvíja nezáväznou formou vymieňania nepravidelných zážitkov a fotiek, prípadne sa vám ozve len sporadicky, keď niečo potrebuje, nečakajte od neho pevný vzťah. Ide o nezáväzné flirtovanie s vidinou sexu na jednu noc.

2. Podarilo sa a dvaja z internetovej zoznamky nadviazali vzťah a sú „šťastní“... Jeden z partnerov, však stále nechce zrušiť svoj on-line účet a stále udržiava písomný kontakt s ostatnými pre prípad, že by to nevyšlo. Takáto forma správania sa nazýva cushioning a skutočné zamilovanie v tomto páre prežíva len jeden z nich.

3. Prekročili ste hranice virtuálneho randenia a došlo k niekoľkým stretnutiam. Vzťah však nenapreduje tak, akoby mal a jeden z dvojice si prestáva byť istý na čom je. Ide o tzv. benching, kedy si druhá strana ponecháva otvorené dvere pre prípad, keby to nevyšlo. V skutočnosti takýto človek môže uprednostňovať tých ďalších. Treba si však uvedomiť, že každý človek je jedinečný a schopnosť nadväzovania partnerských vzťahov prebieha rôzne. Preto rýchlosť a intenzita nadväzovania vzťahu u každého trvá inú dobu. Skúste zistiť v tomto prípade, či ide o povahovú črtu, alebo to je neúprimnosť. 

4. Pozícia „mŕtveho chrobáka“ či teória „neriešenia problému“ je typická pre ghosting, ktorý je živnou pôdou pre anonymný internet. K tomuto kroku pristupuje jeden z partnerov, poväčšine muž. Po niekoľkých schôdzkach, ktoré sa rysovali, ako veľmi príjemné; náhle  a neočakávane zmizne z jej virtuálneho aj reálne sveta ako duch.

5. Podobný vzorec správania, ako ten posledný je, keď  z reálneho aj virtuálneho života partner zmizne. Po určitom čase sa opäť objaví, ako zo záhrobia (tzv. zombieing) a chce nadviazať tam, kde skončil. V tomto prípade treba byť obozretný a zvážiť všetky pre a proti k návratu, aby nedošlo k opätovnému sklamaniu. Existuje aj zombieing – haunting len v online svete , kedy on či ona nikdy nenadviaže priamy kontakt, pretože vyhľadáva len ten virtuálny. 

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