Ste tolerantná?

Je veľmi dôležité poznať rozdiely medzi toleranciou a benevolentnosťou vo vzťahu. Ak medzi dvoma funguje správna miera tolerancie, vzťah má nádej na úspech.

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Základom dobrého partnerského vzťahu je tolerancia - stará známa rada psychológov z predmanželských a manželských poradní. Ako to vyzerá v reálnom živote s toleranciou? Viete byť tolerantná voči partnerovi? V prvom rade je nutné si uvedomiť, čo vlastne je TOLERANCIA. V partnerskom vzťahu si môžete povedať, že ste tolerantná, ak beriete svojho partnera takého aký je a nesnažíte sa ho prerobiť.

Dobrá rada na úvod
Vzťahu prospieva ak každý z partnerov má svoje záujmy, ktoré nie sú na úkor vášho spoločného času. Ak zdieľate aj spoločné koníčky, vášmu vzťahu to len prospieva.

Tolerancia na začiatku vzťahu
Toto obdobie je asi najtolerantnejším, odpúšťate a tolerujete aj to čo by ste za normálnych okolností neboli schopná. A však čas zamilovania najneskôr po roku vyprchá a nastáva obdobie reálneho vnímania partnera. Práve v tomto období je dôležité si stanoviť pravidlá vzájomnej tolerancie.

Tolerancia po uplynuté zamilovanosti
Zrazu ako šibnutím čarovného prútika vnímate všetky nedostatky na svojom partnerovi, ktoré mu zrazu odmietate tolerovať. Nerobte unáhlené rozhodnutia a v pokoji si prejdite, čo ste schopná tolerovať a čo zasa nie. Na prvom mieste myslite na seba, pretože prehnaná tolerancia vám len ublíži či prehnaná kritika voči partnerovi môže ukončiť váš perspektívny vzťah.

Medzi ťažko tolerovateľné veci patria drogová závislosť, alkoholizmus, domáce násilie a nevera. Práve tieto spomenuté veci sú len na vašom partnerovi či ich odstráni s vašou podporou alebo bez nej. Ak to nie je schopný urobiť, pre vás bude lepšie ukončiť tento vzťah. Samozrejme je to vždy zložitejšie u rodín s deťmi alebo u finančne závislých manželiek. Ale jednoznačne si uvedomte, že násilie nepatrí do zdravého vzťahu.

Netolerujte...
... notoricky neskoré príchody, ktoré vám pri dlhšom spolunažívaní neskutočne začnú liezť na nervy.
... tzv. "sľubotechnu". Takýto partner, ktorý nevie dodržať slovo a stále má výhovorky určite nebude najvhodnejším otcom vášho dieťaťa.
... lakomca. Napriek niektorým názorom, že sme si vo všetkom rovní, muž by sa mal vždy zachovať džentlmensky a nemal by vás nechať platiť vaše spoločné romantické večere. Skúsenosti hovoria, že po násilníkovi a žiarlivcovi je lakomec najhorším partnerom.
... odcudzenie. Začnite byť viac opatrná ak váš partner je stále "zavesený" na internetovej zoznamke, skúste si to s ním vydiskutovať a nájsť príčinu jeho "závislosti".

1 Komentár

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