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Smäd po živote


Napísal Milan Buno, literárny publicista 18. marec 2018

Jedno z najvýznamnejších diel svetovej literatúry vychádza v novom vydaní takmer po dvoch desaťročiach. Smäd po živote je výsledok mohutného dojmu, akým na Irvinga Stona zapôsobili obrazy Vincenta van Gogha, s ktorým sa zoznámil v Paríži v 20. rokoch minulého storočia. 

Na základe štúdia zachovanej korešpondencie, autentických dokumentov a spomienok žijúcich súčasníkov veľkého maliara napísal príbeh, ktorý sa zaradil k najčítanejším dielam svojho žánru.

Príbeh Vincenta van Gogha poznáme v hrubých črtách všetci.
Bol chudobný ako kostolná myš, vydržiaval ho brat Theo. Len tak mohol maľovať a len vďaka nemu po ňom zostali obrazy, pri ktorých zastane srdce.
Dokázal to, čo málokto z nás. Predbehol svoju dobu, veď impresionizmus v jeho čase ešte nebol v kurze.

„Ale veď sa musím všetko učiť od začiatku, Theo. Všetko, čo robím, je zlé.“
„Všetko, čo robíš, je správne... okrem svetla a farby. Bol si impresionistom od chvíle, čo si v Borinage chytil ceruzku do ruky. Pozri, ako kreslíš! Pozri, ako narábaš štetcom! Nikto tak pred Manetom nemaľoval. Pozri na svoje čiary. Takmer nikdy nie sú presné, definitívne. Pozri na svoje tváre, stromy a postavy na poli! Sú to tvoje impresie! Sú hrubé, nedokonalé, prefiltrované cez tvoju osobnosť. Práve to znamená byť impresionistom; nemaľovať tak ako každý iný, nebyť otrokom pravidiel a predpisov. Patríš svojmu veku, Vincent, a či chceš, či
nechceš, si impresionista.“

Smäd po živote vraví nielen pravdu o živote geniálneho umelca, vyplnenom prácou a utrpením, ale zároveň odhaľuje základné skutočnosti o jednej z najvyšších ľudských činností – o umení.
Kniha nevďačí za svoj úspech len pútavému námetu a zručnému literárnemu spracovaniu. Stone má okrem iného zriedkavý dar historickej evokácie, vie niekoľkými náznakmi vystihnúť atmosféru doby, jej cítenie a pohľad na svet, vie pochopiť umelecké dielo a predstaviť ho tak, že pochopíme podstatu a zámer jeho tvorcu.

Začítajte sa do knihy Smäd po živote:

Viceadmirál Johannes van Gogh, najvyšší dôstojník v holandskom námorníctve, stál na plošine pred svojím priestranným naturálnym sídlom za Dvorom admirality. Na synovcovu počesť si obliekol parádnu uniformu: na pleciach mu sedeli zlaté epolety. Nad ťažkou vangoghovskou bradou vyčnieval silný rovný nos, ktorý sa spájal s vypuklým bralom čela.
„Teším sa, že si tu, Vincent,“ prihovoril sa mu. „Odkedy sa mi deti poženili a povydávali, je v dome veľmi ticho.“
Vystúpili hore širokým hranatým schodišťom a strýko Jan otvoril dvere. Vincent vstúpil do izby a zložil si kapsu. Z ďalekého obloka bolo vidieť Dvor admirality. Strýko Jan sedel na peľasti a usiloval sa tváriť čím nenútenejšie, pokiaľ sa to so zlatými epoletami dalo.
„Potešilo ma, keď som počul, že si sa rozhodol študovať teológiu,“ povedal. „Jeden člen vangoghovskej rodiny od nepamäti slúžil Bohu.“
Vincent sa načiahol za fajkou a starostlivo ju napchal tabakom; robieval to neraz, keď chcel získal čas na rozmýšľame. „Viete, chcel som byť kazateľom a pustiť sa hneď do roboty.“
„To nie je pre teba, Vincent. Kazatelia sú nevzdelanci a sám pánboh vie, ako balamutia ľudí. Nie, chlapče, vangoghovskí pastori napospol skončili univerzitu. Ale iste by si si teraz rád vybalil veci. Večeriame o ôsmej.“
Sotva viceadmirálov široký chrbát zmizol za dverami, na Vincenta doľahla clivota. Poobzeral sa. Posteľ bola široká a pohodlná, skriňa priestranná a nízky, úhľadný písací stolík volal do práce. Ale nebol vo svojej koži, ako vždy v prítomnosti cudzích ľudí. Založil si chytro čiapku a rýchlo vykročil krížom cez Dam. Našiel tam židovského kníhkupca, ktorý v otvorenom skliepku ponúkal utešené reprodukcie. Po dosť dlhom hľadaní vybral Vincent trinásť obrazov, vopchal si ich pod pazuchu a pobral sa po nábreží domov, vdychujúc tuhú vôňu dechtu.
Keď pripínal na stenu obrazy, opatrne, aby nepoškodil tapety, ktosi zaklopal na dvere. Vstúpil senior Stricker. Stricker bol Vincentov ujec: nebol to van Gogh; jeho manželka bola sestrou Vincentovej matky. Bol to chýrny amsterdamský duchovný a pokladali ho za veľmi múdreho človeka. Mal čierny oblek z dobrej látky a padol mu ako uliaty.
Keď sa privítali, senior povedal: „Obstaral som ti Mendesa da Costa, jedného z našich najlepších klasicistov, bude ťa učiť latinčinu a gréčtinu. Býva v židovskej štvrti, máš prísť na prvú hodinu v pondelok popoludní o tretej. Ale ja som ťa prišiel pozvať na nedeľný obed. Tetka Wilhelmina a sesternica Kay sa ťa už nemôžu dočkať.“
„Veľmi sa na ne teším. Kedy mám prísť?“
„Obedujeme napoludnie, keď si odbavíme posledné ranné bohoslužby.“
„Pozdravte, prosím, rodinu,“ povedal Vincent, keď senior Stricker zdvihol svoj čierny klobúk a aktovku.
„Do videnia zajtra,“ odvetil ujec a odišiel.

2

Keizersgracht, kde Strickerovci bývali, bola jednou z najvznešenejších ulíc v Amsterdame. Je to štvrtý podkovovitý bulvár a prieplav, ktorý sa začína na južnej strane prístavu, obieha okolo stredu mesta a vracia sa znovu do severnej časti prístavu. Prieplav bol čistý a číry, pridôležitý na to, aby ho pokrýval kroos, tajomný zelený mach, ktorý za stáročia utvoril hrubú vrstvu na prieplavoch chudobnejších štvrtí.
Domy lemujúce ulice sú čisto flámske: úzke, dobre stavané, pritisnuté k sebe ani dlhý šík parádnych, puritánskych vojakov v pozore.
Keď si Vincent na druhý deň vypočul kázeň uja Strickera, pobral sa k pastorovmu domu. Žiarivé slnko zahnalo popolavé chmáry, ktoré sa večne preháňajú po holandskom nebi, a na niekoľko minút bol vzduch plný jasu. Bolo priskoro. Vincent kráčal zadumaný a prizeral sa, ako na prieplave tlačia člny proti prúdu a proti vetru.
Boli to zväčša pieskarske člny, podlhovasté, na koncoch zúžené. Očerneli od vody a naprostriedku mali veľké prázdne priestory na lodný náklad. Od čela po kormu sa ťahali šnúry, na ktorých visela rodinná bielizeň. Otec rodiny zabodol žrď do bahna, oprel si ju o plece, namáhavo sa obracal pomedzi kúty krivolakého prieplavu a čln pomaly kĺzal pod ním. Žena, rozložitá, čulá, červená v tvári, sedela nehybne na korme a obsluhovala ťarbavé drevené kormidlo. Deti sa hrali so psom a podchvíľou odbiehali do kabíny, ktorá im bola domovom.
Dom seniora Strickera bol postavený v typickom flámskom slohu: bol úzky, trojposchodový, na streche mal obdĺžnikovú vežičku s podkrovným oblôčikom, okrášlenú splývavými arabeskami. Z podkrovného obloka trčal trám s dlhým železným hákom na konci.
Tetka Wilhelmina privítala Vincenta a zaviedla ho do jedálne. Na stene visel Kalvínov portrét od Ary Scheffera a na príborníku sa ligotala strieborná súprava. Steny boli obložené tmavým drevom.
Nestihol si ešte zvyknúť na stálu polotmu v miestnosti, keď z tieňa vystúpila vysoká svižná dievčina a srdečne ho pozdravila.
„Iste ma nepoznáš,“ ozvala sa zvučným hlasom, „som tvoja sesternica Kay.“
Vincent jej stisol ruku a po mnohých mesiacoch prvý raz pocítil mäkkú, horúcu pokožku mladej ženy.
„Ešte sme sa nestretli,“ pokračovalo dievča v dôvernom tóne, „a je to dosť čudné, veď už mám dvadsaťšesť rokov a ty už máš najmenej…?“
Vincent sa na ňu zahľadel s tichým obdivom. Prešlo niekoľko sekúnd, kým si uvedomil, že by bolo treba odpovedať. Aby skryl rozpaky, vytresol hlasno a drsne: „Dvadsaťštyri. Som mladší ako ty.“
„Áno. Ale hádam to ani nie je také čudné. Nikdy si neprišiel do Amsterdamu a ja som nikdy nebola v Brabante. Ale tuším som zlá hostiteľka. Sadni si, prosím!“
Sadol si na kraj tvrdej stoličky. V rýchlej a čudnej premene, ktorá sa s ním stala a ktorá z neokrôchaného dedinčana urobila uhladeného svetáka, povedal: „Mamka si neraz želala, aby si nás prišla navštíviť. Brabant by sa ti iste páčil. Je to veľmi sympatický kraj.“
„Viem. Tetka Anna mi niekoľko ráz písala a pozývala ma. Musím ju čím skôr navštíviť.“
„Áno, musíš,“ prisvedčil Vincent.
Iba akousi malou časťou vedomia mohol počúvať dievča a odpovedať mu. Zvyšok jeho bytosti vpíjal jej krásu s náruživým smädom muža, ktorý pridlho pil z prameňa odriekania. Kay mala robustné črty Holanďaniek, ale zjemnené, vycizelované do nežných tvarov. Vlasy nemala slamovožlté ani ohnivoryšavé ako jej krajanky, obe farby sa čudne miešali, oheň jednej odrážal jas druhej žiarivým, nežným teplom. Chránila si pleť pred slnkom a vetrom: úbeľ jej brady prechádzal do rumenca líc s umeleckou dokonalosťou hodnou holandského majstra. V tmavomodrých očiach jej tancovala radosť zo života; kypré pery mala pootvorené, akoby tú radosť chcela prijímať.
Všimla si, že Vincent stíchol, a spýtala sa: „Na čo myslíš, bratanček? Voľajaký si zadumaný.“
„Myslel som na to, že by ťa bol Rembrandt iste rád namaľoval.“
Kay sa ticho zasmiala a v hrdle jej znela zrelá zmyselnosť. „Rembrandt najradšej maľoval mrzké ženy, však?“ opýtala sa.
„Nie,“ odvetil Vincent. „Maľoval krásne stareny, ženy chudobné alebo nešťastné, ale ktorým smútok vdýchol dušu.“
Po prvý raz si Kay Vincenta lepšie prezrela. Keď prišiel, venovala mu len letmý pohľad a všimla si iba hrdzavočervenú hrivu a dosť ťažkú tvár. Teraz vnímala aj plné ústa, hlboko vsadené, planúce oči, vysoké, súmerné vangoghovské čelo a nepoddajnú bradu, ktorú na ňu vytŕčal.
„Prepáč, že som bola taká hlúpa,“ povedala takmer pošepky. „Viem, čo si chcel o Rembrandtovi povedať. Dostáva sa k samej podstate krásy, keď maľuje tých hrčovitých starcov a stareny, ktorým sa utrpenie a sklamanie hlboko vrezalo do tváre, však?“
„O čom sa tak vážne zhovárate, deti?“ opýtal sa senior Stricker vo dverách.
„Zoznamovali sme sa,“ odpovedala Kay. „Prečo si mi nepovedal, že mám takého milého bratanca?“
Do izby prišiel ešte niekto, štíhly muž s nenúteným úsmevom a príjemným správaním. Kay vstala a vrúcne ho pobozkala. „Bratanec Vincent,“ povedala, „toto je môj muž, mijnheer Vos.“
O chvíľu sa vrátila s dvojročným pobelavým chlapčekom. Bolo to živé dieťa, po matke malo chápavú tvár a tmavobelasé oči. Kay sa zohla, vzala chlapca na ruky a Vos ich oboch objal.
„Sadneš si sem, vedľa mňa, Vincent?“ opýtala sa teta Wilhelmina.
Oproti Vincentovi sedela Kay, po jednom boku mala Vosa a po druhom Jana na vysokej stoličke. Teraz, keď mala muža doma,zabudla na Vincenta. Líca jej zrumeneli. Keď jej raz muž povedal čosi vtipné tichým, dôverným hlasom, nahla sa čulo k nemu a pobozkala ho.
Vibrujúce vlny ich lásky zasiahli Vincenta a pohltili ho. Po prvý raz od osudnej nedele v ňom vyvrel z akéhosi tajomného žriedla dávny bôľ za Ursulou a zalial aj najkrajnejšie bašty tela i mozgu. Keď videl pred sebou rodinu, pevne zomknutú a radostne oddanú, uvedomil si, že po všetky tie pusté mesiace túži, zúfalo túži po láske a že tú túžbu nebude ľahko nasýtiť.

7 komentárov

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    Due To This Fact, illicit use of this steroid can cause troublesome and potentially deadly unwanted
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    Clomid) actively compete with estrogen at a receptor
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    Deca Durabolin has long esters and thus is a slow-acting
    steroid, hence the lengthy ten-week cycle. This is a potent bulking cycle, but one of many
    least poisonous stacks by means of unwanted effects that we see.


    The acquisition of Anavar for beauty purposes additionally poses hazards to users, as we've found
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    A widespread scam we see is for methandrostenolone (Dianabol) to
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    If you need the results of Anavar but don’t need to experience the same level of unwanted effects, we suggest
    shopping for authorized Anavar (known as Anvarol). Anvarol is not going
    to replicate the identical degree of anabolism or fat burning as Anavar; nevertheless, it's most
    popular by some bodybuilders because of a scarcity
    of side effects and its FDA-approved nature. Girls taking greater than 10
    mg/day or cycling Anavar past 6 weeks dramatically increase
    the risk of virilization, in our experience. It’s quite a common curiosity to ponder what would happen if someone took Oxandrolone with out coupling it with a training routine.

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    Anavar is taken into account a gentle steroid, however it can nonetheless cause some unwanted effects.
    Some of the most common side effects of Anavar embrace zits, hair loss, and increased body hair progress.

    Ladies may experience menstrual irregularities and voice modifications.
    It’s necessary to notice that not everyone will expertise these unwanted effects, and
    the severity of the unwanted aspect effects
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    It can be necessary to follow a correct PCT routine to help restore natural testosterone manufacturing within the
    body.
    This can also be thought to be genetics, so if you’ve been acne-prone up to now, there’s a high chance you’ll develop
    this facet impact when utilizing Anavar. Unlike baldness, which is usually
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    Anavar. A commonplace PCT cycle will usually not restore testosterone ranges
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    I recommend testosterone cruising for 4 months following this
    cycle, preserving in thoughts there’s no guarantee of T levels returning completely again to
    normal after utilizing Tren. Masteron is good for working for a whole cycle, while Anavar is
    finest used as a finishing steroid in the ultimate weeks.
    Just as with Winstrol, Masteron sometimes leads to a better
    level of vascularity and a grainer look than Anavar does.
    The actual reason for the headaches just isn't identified, however they may be related to
    the elevated blood pressure which is a typical facet impact of Anadrol.

    Unfortunately, Anadrol can even cause an increase in levels of cholesterol.
    This is as a result of Anadrol causes the liver to supply more cholesterol.

    In most circumstances, Anadrol could be taken without any main unwanted aspect effects.

    Nevertheless, it is very important be aware of all potential unwanted side effects earlier than beginning
    any medicine. If you’re looking to do an Anadrol cycle, then we recommend taking a break for at least four
    weeks earlier than beginning your PCT. If you’re looking to
    bulk up, then you may need to stack Anadrol with other bulking steroids like – Testosterone and Deca Durabolin, Dianabol, and Trenbolone.

    This supplementation strives to take care of a balance, stop issues
    corresponding to fatigue, mood swings, and lowered libido
    that can be related to low testosterone levels.
    Customers often begin this supplemental administration every week before beginning the steroid and proceed it until
    a few weeks after discontinuation to regain regular hormonal balance.

    Anavar is a flexible compound that can be utilized for
    all purposes (even bulking!), however it's
    best suited to slicing, recomping, and rising energy.
    If utilizing Var with other orals, all the time reduce doses of each, and, regardless of which compounds you utilize, always
    begin with low doses and gain as much as you can from these.
    It’s very easy to start with huge doses, but the place do you go
    from there? Remember, diet and training are the necessary thing; anabolic merely
    add the polish and allow you to make features faster.

    Anavar can produce some delicate androgenic effects in men,
    and hair loss could be one of these points for males who have a genetic predisposition to baldness.
    Utilizing Anavar at low to moderate doses is about
    as safe as it can get for anabolic steroid use. As with many other compounds, it is unknown for
    its severe unwanted side effects. But abuse Anavar past the
    really helpful utilization patterns, and also you do set yourself up for an unsafe steroid experience that may and can damage your well being.
    Outstanding fat loss shall be seen on this stack, and it will come on rapidly.
    Expect an increase in vitality and endurance, however the side effects of Clen can harm your exercise capability
    (lowering the dose is right if you’re delicate to
    stimulants). Anavar will provide the capability to
    construct muscle and preserve strength while dieting.
    I’ve used all various kinds of fats loss products up to now, and some labored higher than others, however sometimes I didn’t really feel good utilizing them.
    I would really feel jittery, irritable, wanting breath, lose focus, and customarily have a not-healthy
    feeling. Many of these individuals are first-time customers of
    Clenbuterol, and it's recognized that those that are using Clen for the first
    time usually have a tendency to suffer from unwanted facet effects.

    Moreover, it is essential to follow the beneficial dosage and duration of PCT to ensure that your physique recovers correctly.

    Before starting any cycle, it's essential to seek the assistance of with a healthcare skilled.
    They might help you determine the proper dosage and timing on your PCT based in your individual needs
    and well being status. They can even monitor your progress
    and make any needed adjustments to your PCT. When it involves post-cycle remedy
    (PCT) for Anavar, there are a number of forms of PCT you'll find a way to select from.

    Every kind has its personal advantages and downsides, so it’s important to know them
    before making a choice.
    This cycle makes use of Clenbuterol in the 2-week on and
    2-week off cycle format. If you need to proceed utilizing Clen after the 8-week cycle (such as throughout
    PCT), it’s possible, as the cycle only consists of 4 weeks of Clenbuterol.
    In any case, your complete time utilizing Clenbuterol ought to
    nonetheless not exceed eight weeks. This quick one-month cycle will also introduce
    you to the incremental method of increasing Clenbuterol’s dosage because the cycle progresses.

    This is an essential method of using Clen because your
    body rapidly adjusts to its results. You can and will modify the dosage in accordance with
    your comfort level, and women will usually want to lean in direction of a most dose of
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    The physique takes a mean of 21 days to stop the manufacturing of pure testosterone boosters.

    And if Publish – Cycle Therapy (PCT) isn't accomplished after
    the cycle is over, it might doubtless take a 12 months by testosterone manufacturing gets back to
    regular. An advanced Oxandrolone cycle consists of day by day administration of 80–100 mg of the steroid for eight weeks.

    A extra sophisticated person, though, would come with numerous additional steroids in a
    potent stack. The average length of an Anavar cycle for males is roughly eight weeks, whereas the maximum
    length for girls is six weeks. As A Substitute of
    using Anavar repeatedly for extended intervals of time,
    the most secure and most profitable approach to
    prevent virilization is to take the drugs in cycles of some weeks and in low doses.

    A fundamental PCT cycle ought to include SERMs corresponding to Nolvadex and Clomid,
    which could be even more efficient when combined with HCG.
    Anavar isn't essentially the most suppressive steroid, however
    your natural testosterone manufacturing is likely to have taken a success.
    This may cause symptoms of low testosterone when your cycle ends, together
    with lack of muscle and fats gain.

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    endurance as properly. The better part is that you are in a position to do
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    By Jennifer Zeltwanger, ACSM-EPJen Zeltwanger is an train physiologist and runner with 26 years of experience within the health and health industry.
    She focuses on researching and writing about products that assist house and outside fitness.

    A yoga mat should have the appropriate amount of grip—and that goes double when you’re sweating
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    This home gym’s assembled dimensions are 64 x forty one x
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    While kettlebells can be used for many of the identical exercises as dumbbells,
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    Plus, these dumbbells are suitable with the Kettle Gryp, a specialized handle that permits you to use
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    Simple equipment will price less, take up less space and could also be less intimidating than larger machines.

    Bowflex started in 1986 and is well-known for its adjustable dumbbells and distinctive home gym equipment.
    Bowflex machines are extremely reasonably priced, high-quality house gyms
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    place the machine. Measure the size, width, and height
    of the house gym machine and then resolve which one best fits your place.


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    But for many daily working and informal runners, the size
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    One of one of the best methods to ensure your upper physique power will enhance is to do regular press-ups.
    If you’re concerned about potential accidents, the chest
    cable crossover is a safe pectoral workout with
    out putting undue pressure on them, in addition to minimizing the risk of again injuries.
    All forms of dips hit the chest heavily, however on chest day, it's worth ensuring you're doing dips that emphasize
    the pecs. Put your ft up behind you, lean forward as far as potential,
    and allow your elbows to flare out barely as you dip.
    Let me share some suggestions for constructing
    your decrease pecs in your front room and turning your furniture into fitness gear.
    If you’re new to training, attempt a couple of workouts out
    and work out which ones suit you finest, then incorporate these frequently as part of your
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    Begin with a good warm-up, corresponding to a dynamic
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    Begin the chest power coaching with compound movements like barbell press and incline dumbbell
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    Beginning your training with the compound motion allows you
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    for being unhealthy on your shoulders because the bar runs on rails, locking you
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    Choosing dumbbells which might be suitable for your power and fitness
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    will maintain you from overworking your muscular tissues or injuring yourself.
    Guarantee that the floor used for assist is steady and secure, capable of withstanding
    the weight and motion with out slipping or shifting.

    Keep In Mind to hearken to your physique, have interaction in correct
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    Chest workouts don’t require equipment or gym tools, however most of the best chest workouts could be enhanced with
    dumbbells, benches, resistance bands, or dip bars. The additional
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    There are completely different styles of training out there,
    and everybody has different preferences. Repeat for reps whereas switching which foot is forward halfway
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    as you bend them, allowing the bar to decrease toward your forehead.
    Make sure your elbows continue dealing with forward and don’t flare out.
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    Select a few of those workouts, design your chest exercise plan, get
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    On busy fitness center days, they make the right ‘shy girl’ exercise you are in a position to do
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    There’ll always be a pair of dumbbells on the gym ground, and this one piece of kit can get you a
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    Alternatively, you can also do a bounce to sluggish eccentric pull-up when you simply give consideration to the reducing part of the
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    If preserving your knees straight is simply too challenging,
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    The constant rigidity positioned on the chest muscle tissue promotes muscle activation and
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    But every of those workouts has a similar starting position, arm movement,
    and follow by way of motion to a 90-degree angle.
    The reverse-grip bench press might not appear to be an higher
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    as explained in this exercise anatomy. The incline press targets the higher portion of the pectoralis major muscle, pec minor,
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